Being a leader to your child

I am a leader in my business, but I learnt quickly that I need to become a leader to my twins who can follow me too. I do feel I have yet to talk enough about actually having a child, I do think that I should tell you what I do personally as a parent since you can’t really experience the benefits without being a parent. Since everyone who is a parent is aware that it is indeed a full time job, what people do not realise is that it goes a lot further than that as it isn’t an actual job. I mean I own my own Carpet Cleaning business, but I have a friend in the same profession who is a Carpet Cleaner and we always talk about this. You become responsible for another human life, and it is precious and also fragile. I really do think the smallest events affect your child as you raise them, and it makes them grow to have an outlook towards life and who they start to become as an adult. While some believe that this isn’t the case, quite frankly from my own memories I believe this to be true and I want to give you some examples.

I remember as a really small child probably around the age of 1 or 2 years old, and my mother and father were pushing me on a push chair along the bridge next to my childhood home, Blackwall. It really is an insignificant memory when I think about it, but remembering times when my parents were happy together and us being a complete child is amazing to me. Then, when I was roughly 2 ½ years old, I watched my dad spend the day playing video games. I remember he was engulfed in the game itself, but he would pause the game every so often and go into the kitchen, and looking back on it I remember he was making dinner for all of us too. Remembering my father being in my life so much is what makes that memory so great. I also remember him playing games again, but this time it was late at night, like 4AM and I realised he had been up all night playing it. As it turns out, he would wait for my mother to come back home as she was out from the night before. It happened so often that when I was about 3, they would argue all the time and it was always that late at night. I remember those types of memories of them arguing and being unhappy all the way to the age of 7 or 8 years old. My mother moved me and her out while leaving my father, sister and brother at the childhood home. We would then move around a lot and the family was switched around a lot too. Even at such a young age I remember the sadness and arguments that had been caused and when they split up. And looking back on the whole ordeal, it was really horrible for them and for me also. So I had to make sure I promised myself I would not allow my twins to experience the same thing that I did, and that I would ensure that we would all stay a complete family, since I remember how unhappy it is to be part of an incomplete family.

Now I do small things every day to ensure that this doesn’t happen, and I consider myself to be an average parent for doing so.

I make sure I never argue with the children present, as I feel like there is nothing more negative on the twin’s mood. And I believe the more I could argue, the more the kids would pick this up.

I make sure that if the twins need anything from food to teddy bears, or even their favourite blankets are always available to them as soon as possible. Day or night, I am always ready to be there.

When I am tired from work or stressed, or even feeling down about myself, I make sure never to show my children. The only thing I will ever show the twins is how much I love them, and why they should love me.

I always make sure they are happy, and if they are not I make sure to ask and listen why.

Finally, I make sure that the kids will always see me and my partner in only a positive mood, as that is probably the best building point as a parent.

These are just personal opinions based on my own memories and my own point of view, but quite frankly those memories I have as a child affected me all the way to this day. It sculpted me, and I need to make sure the twins do not experience what I did.

The benefits of being a parent part 2

Although I spoke in quite some depth yesterday on this subject, I had a lot of fun discussing it and I am sure others will enjoy it too. So here is what I have left to talk about!

Feeling healthier

There is a weird truth to the fact that physically you become in much better shape than you did before you became a parent, and it did happen to me. I think it is because of a few things such as taking care of someone else means that you need to take care of yourself. This meant that I began to eat a lot more but healthier food, and going to the gym 4 days a week. I did this because I wanted to set a better example to the twins but I also want to see my twins grow up and have families of their own. I feel better mentally as much as I do feel better physically. Strangely I am not the only one who is feeling this way as well.

You begin to learn about yourself

You do actually learn about yourself as a parent as much as you learn about the kids. For the first 25+ years of my life I thought I knew myself well enough, but when the twins were born I began to realise there were other things I used to like which now I don’t, and vice versa.  The twins have helped me become a lot more patient while also helping me become a lot more loving, and I have begun to experience things in a new way. Now I hate things that I never even knew I should and love things that I never knew I should have. But it also helped me realise that I know who I am and what I really love in life; my family and my business.

Increase in Self Esteem

There is such a self-esteem boost that you receive from being a parent that it is actually quite odd. There are times like when your children call you the best parent in the world or when they see you as if you are their hero of just the greatest person in the world, that there is no feeling more extraordinary. There really is nothing that is quite like it to hear words such as that come out of your kid’s mouth and the fact is you can see they believe it on their faces. Although every so often I do throw it in my partners face as a joke! What you don’t realise is that while your children become the main thing in your life, your kids see you as their life too. So even though you do have to give up and sacrifice so much for your family to be happy and especially your children, the rewards really are just as great as what you give up. You make a true commitment to your family and you receive that back.

You get to act like a child!

The coolest thing for me personally about being a parent is that I get to act like a child again! Now I can play video games all day and play with toys and I get to use the child as an excuse. I have a reason to go Disneyworld and I can just sit around watching cartoons or kick around a football in the park in my bare feet and no one cares! It’s great!

Laughing more than you think!

Now let’s be honest, kids aren’t the funniest. They can’t tell you jokes and they won’t be the best of jokes either. The thing is though they really do the funniest things completely by mistake. They will say or do something that they won’t realise that is the funniest thing in the world, and you will love it.

The love

The fact of the matter is, you become to close and so attached to another human being that there is a love that is unexplainable that you will never feel otherwise. That is all I can really say, but that alone makes having a child worth it.

Thanks for reading this week! I hope some of this has helped you realise how cool it is to be a parent!

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The benefits of being a parent part 1

This is a blog that is about twins, but there is a small fact that I have yet to go over. There are many benefits to having children that I have yet to talk about, instead focusing on other thingsThere’s a lot of benefits from the government financially, but that’s not quite what I mean. I am actually quite excited to talk about this, since there are so many benefits that are out there from being a parent. Since we have readers who are parents and others that are still trying to decide if they should be a parent, I will give you two ways to look at it. It is very hard, but it is actually worth it, and although it is the most expensive thing you will do, it pays itself back in years of happiness. So here are some of the benefits of being a parent!

Becoming a couple to becoming a family

When you find a partner for you that is more like a life partner than anything else, you can envision spending the rest of your life with them and quite honestly there is no closer bond you can have. I became a parent of twins at the age of 29, and while we planned just the one quite honestly, I don’t think I would be as close to as happy as I am right now if it wasn’t for the two. Both me and my partner are closer than we have ever been, and we are now a family and there’s nothing better in the world.

Becoming unselfish

Even though I own my own business, I realised quickly that being a parent is a twenty four seven job for 18 years at the very least. Imagine having a cat you have to always keep your eyes on to the point you get up day and night to check up on it. That is pretty much the closest description you can have as to what a child is like. You become a servant to them, as you realise the needs of your kids are way more important than your own personal needs. But it is at the moments you are looking after your children where you realise the most that you truly love them.

How much happier you become

It is true that children really do enrich your life to a point you didn’t know existed. The approach and the view that they have in life is completely filled with an innocence and wonder that as adults we have lost a long time ago. Day to day that approach is amazing. Everything to the children is new and different, and every so often you get to experience that new wonder through them. At first we as parents do moan and feel bad about ourselves because we lack the freedom we used to have, there comes a time that you begin to realise that you can have a much more filling and enriched life altogether. I have begun to experience new viewpoints myself, and mentally I have begun to feel so much better about everything in life. It is something I feel only a child can really provide for you.

Children become teachers

Even though I studied business at school so I could open my own business, I have found myself learning from children more than I ever have. Even though I would still apply the techniques and knowledge that I picked up from school, there was a discipline and a work ethic that bordered to such an extremity that I was yet to learn and never realised that was possible that became a real eye opener for me. I applied what I have learnt from being a parent to my twins that I used to become a better parent, but also used it to become a better businessman at the same time too. Experiencing that development through my children really helped as well, and because I had twins I learnt it twice as fast as most. I learnt little facts like capital cities of countries I hadn’t known about, the names of the coolest dinosaurs and even names of cartoon characters.

Overall just these allowed me to experience benefits I couldn’t have otherwise imagined, but there is still more to come!

 

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Plan correctly

Although this post is technically more about pregnancy, but when you or your partner have become pregnant the best thing for you to possible to once the kid (or in my case twins) come is for you to plan and prepare properly. Really, you should plan and prepare properly beforehand, or your personal and professional life will suffer. While this is all technically really obvious, you have yet to understand or realise how much your life will change once you have children. That’s why many people do not plan or prepare properly, and that is also why it is important for you to ensure you plan these changes properly well in advanced so you know what is to come. So I have a few suggestions for you to make those changes and prepare properly.

In my most previous blog post I spoke at length about this, but I feel I should make a summarised version here about what I have previously posted and how you can now prepare for this before birth. When your child is born, your professional life can’t help but change for a few reasons, and it isn’t just the lack of sleep that will do that to you! It’s also a lack of motivation and momentum in the first 6 months and the main issue that you will find is that you will not find the time not will you have the focus that you will actually need day to day to complete your work. There is a way however that you can prepare for this all in a way that you should know about beforehand, and I wish I knew about. Since the biggest obstacle as a worker crops up once after having children is that the focus you once had is gone and you find it difficult to complete work at hand, as you become more engrossed in personal issues. This means day to day you suffer professionally and deadlines will become difficult to manage. Therefore, here is some advice I will give you in order to properly prepare for once this happens:

Every day, ensure that you break up your working time into increments of half an hour each, and then make sure to focus those increments on your most important and demanding tasks first. Once you are able to tackle the important tasks first, you will see that you can speed through the smaller ones quickly. The faster you can get yourself into this pattern the better for you, since it is only natural that work will end up coming second to your family life. This will allow you to become as efficient as possible, and put you in the habit of tackling tasks and issues before the children are born. It took me months to figure this out once the twins were born, and I felt much better after.

Some also say that it is good to get into a sleeping pattern that would be similar once kids are born, but I found the opposite help. Before the twins were born I got as much sleep as possible, and once they came I ended up taking a variety of vitamins and tablets such as ZMA’s before bed and it helped me become as awake and aware as possible. It helped me stay awake for the span of hours and it also meant that I could get everything I needed done, even with an inconsistent sleeping pattern.

I do think going to classes are also a good idea to learn from the parenting side, but ensuring that you do the best you can to actually prepare your day to day life before the children come will be the most helpful thing for you. This will help ease not just financial burdens or stresses that you will have, but other stresses that will inevitably pop up. It will also help what will feel like an increased workload, even though it is not!

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Working with Kids

As a carpet cleaner based in Wimbledon with twins, this blog post isn’t about using kids as part of your workforce, only because silly enough there are actually laws for that. That is actually a joke by the way in case you start getting worried! This is more about the realization of the lack of motivation and work that actually hits you once the children are born, which I hinted to at an extent yesterday. A wide known fact is that these days maternity leave is widespread and has become normal, with some new mothers being able to get up to 2 years off paid. But with the majority of companies, new fathers absolutely do not have that luxury and for the most part find it difficult to even get 2 months off without looking bad. That is part of the reason it actually is hard to get any work finished in the first 6 months of having a child as a father. That is partially because of the kids keeping you up in the morning and night, but it is also because it is hard to actually motivate yourself to work day to day as I quickly found out. Although balancing the day to day work with the responsibilities at home can be incredibly difficult, one thing that really makes it difficult to be able to deal with that efficiently is the lack of motivation.

As someone with twins, I had a huge obstacle to get over because I began suffering from a lack of motivation and found it very difficult because of what had been going on at home at the time. It seemed like looking back on it that my life priorities had temporarily changed and that really took me out of the zone when it came to work for the first few months. I can recollect a number of times that I had a deadline to complete (certain items being done on a specific day, etc) and I just could not organise my time or focus efficiently enough to get the job done immediately. This really does sound silly and ridiculous when reading because it almost seems like I was just being lazy and it is possible that I was, but the truth is that it had nothing to do with the twins taking all of the time out of the day. It was really that my mind was so focused on my family instead for such a long period that I instead was worried about the kids welfare and if my partner had the support she needed. It meant that I was allowing work to come second and that the kids should become first, when the truth is that the business is really what allowed things to be so easy financially.

Truthfully I couldn’t even find the ability to focus and concentrate properly on tasks that were simple day to day because of the motivation I had lost. I remember when building my companies website that even though realistically I had about a month to write 4000 words of content it should have only taken a week most. And that is if I only spend two hours a day on it. And yet I still couldn’t complete the website for over a month and a half until I had a day alone. I just lacked the ability to be able to sit myself down and just focus on a single task for a sustained period of time because of what was going on away from the business. It was because I had so many other things to think about outside of my working life like if the kids are okay, and if my partner needs any support or help. These little thoughts niggled at me and just stopped me from working.

The truth is I stopped this lack of motivation by realising that I needed to become a self-starter and self-motivator if I wanted to get work done. That’s really the only trick. Otherwise, you will be doomed for a while.

 

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The start

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The first thing that I actually had to ask myself when I first found out that I was going to become a parent was where do I actually start, Especially when they were first born. Becoming a parent and becoming a good one isn’t something you can just instantly become either. I am actually shocked at how difficult being a parent can be, and one of the first things I noticed when I found out is that everyone wants to be the first to tell you. And they are actually excited by telling you from the looks of it as well! But the main mistake you make when people say it is that you just pretend to actually process the information, but actually you don’t. Sometimes you might just think you know better, and judge who is actually telling you this. But the truth is that it is actually much harder than you will think at first. And it is honestly harder if you are working a ordinary job than if you are a business owner.

One of the things that I have learnt is that you can’t really find the perfect time to learn to actually be a good parent if you have and focus on your own business day to day, and just like if you are a new person you will find it difficult to really be the businessman that you want to be. There are so many restrictions that come as a surprise as a new parent, and for me what I noticed immediately is that I could kiss travelling goodbye instantly. Especially as a parent to twins, I’m not sure if I’m using two small humans as an excuse but the fact is I have more luck winning the lottery right now. Even things that you used to enjoy then become something that you have to go out of your way to do, and even the things that you used to enjoy can actually become a chore. But as a parent, even if it is to one child or five the fact is you learn quickly that these are sacrifices you have to make and I’m waiting for the moment that I realise it became worth it personally! But I have started to notice that I do need to ensure that I also have priorities outside of the family home to be focused on, since the business that I own is what actually allowed me to have kids to begin with.

As I have made pretty clear so far, I do own my own business so I am at the phase now of where I am finding it hard to balance my professional life with my family life, especially because I do have twins. This means that I cannot just learn to do either perfectly well right now, even though for the past few years my successes as a professional have been key. The benefit of owning my own business however is being able to choose the days that I work, allowing me to really focus on becoming a good parent in the meantime as family is what counts. And the fact is I try to not actually take that fact for granted, since I cannot imagine most get the opportunity to spend so much time with new-borns. This little fact has really allowed me to only focus on the positives of my life right now, and let me just enjoy the time that I have to spend with my family while getting to actually work on a business for myself. I’m pretty fortunate.

Now the fact is although I have really droned on already, I don’t want to speak too much about the trials and tribulations of being a business owner with twins. Quite honestly, 99% of the time it’s just boring parent stuff. But I own a carpet cleaning company which is the business I have actually mentioned so much. The fact is my life is a lot cooler than I thought it would be, so I hope you stay following this blog and enjoy what I post!

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Our first post

Hi there! We’ve created a blog here at taking care of twins thats all about how you can make your parenting just a little bit easier!

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