Being a leader to your child

I am a leader in my business, but I learnt quickly that I need to become a leader to my twins who can follow me too. I do feel I have yet to talk enough about actually having a child, I do think that I should tell you what I do personally as a parent since you can’t really experience the benefits without being a parent. Since everyone who is a parent is aware that it is indeed a full time job, what people do not realise is that it goes a lot further than that as it isn’t an actual job. I mean I own my own Carpet Cleaning business, but I have a friend in the same profession who is a Carpet Cleaner and we always talk about this. You become responsible for another human life, and it is precious and also fragile. I really do think the smallest events affect your child as you raise them, and it makes them grow to have an outlook towards life and who they start to become as an adult. While some believe that this isn’t the case, quite frankly from my own memories I believe this to be true and I want to give you some examples.

I remember as a really small child probably around the age of 1 or 2 years old, and my mother and father were pushing me on a push chair along the bridge next to my childhood home, Blackwall. It really is an insignificant memory when I think about it, but remembering times when my parents were happy together and us being a complete child is amazing to me. Then, when I was roughly 2 ½ years old, I watched my dad spend the day playing video games. I remember he was engulfed in the game itself, but he would pause the game every so often and go into the kitchen, and looking back on it I remember he was making dinner for all of us too. Remembering my father being in my life so much is what makes that memory so great. I also remember him playing games again, but this time it was late at night, like 4AM and I realised he had been up all night playing it. As it turns out, he would wait for my mother to come back home as she was out from the night before. It happened so often that when I was about 3, they would argue all the time and it was always that late at night. I remember those types of memories of them arguing and being unhappy all the way to the age of 7 or 8 years old. My mother moved me and her out while leaving my father, sister and brother at the childhood home. We would then move around a lot and the family was switched around a lot too. Even at such a young age I remember the sadness and arguments that had been caused and when they split up. And looking back on the whole ordeal, it was really horrible for them and for me also. So I had to make sure I promised myself I would not allow my twins to experience the same thing that I did, and that I would ensure that we would all stay a complete family, since I remember how unhappy it is to be part of an incomplete family.

Now I do small things every day to ensure that this doesn’t happen, and I consider myself to be an average parent for doing so.

I make sure I never argue with the children present, as I feel like there is nothing more negative on the twin’s mood. And I believe the more I could argue, the more the kids would pick this up.

I make sure that if the twins need anything from food to teddy bears, or even their favourite blankets are always available to them as soon as possible. Day or night, I am always ready to be there.

When I am tired from work or stressed, or even feeling down about myself, I make sure never to show my children. The only thing I will ever show the twins is how much I love them, and why they should love me.

I always make sure they are happy, and if they are not I make sure to ask and listen why.

Finally, I make sure that the kids will always see me and my partner in only a positive mood, as that is probably the best building point as a parent.

These are just personal opinions based on my own memories and my own point of view, but quite frankly those memories I have as a child affected me all the way to this day. It sculpted me, and I need to make sure the twins do not experience what I did.

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